How to Handle Criticism

Most people react to criticism in an immature way.  Rather than learn from the feedback, they fume and make things worse.  Here are some suggestions from authors Sam Deep and Lyle Sussman:

* Try not to get angry.  Anger prevents you from being effective in dealing with criticism.

* Listen intently to the criticism.  Understand exactly what is being said and why.  You will also cause the person to feel better about you.  Say nothing until the criticizer is finished or asks you a question. 

* Pity inept criticizers.  Don’t attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence. 

* Ask for examples of your alleged shortcomings.  Do this with a genuine desire to learn the truth.  Avoid being sarcastic or antagonistic. 

* Share your perceptions of the situation.  First, acknowledge the extent of your agreement with the comments.  Politely yet firmly, correct any inaccurate information.  Treat the issues dispassionately.

* Never accuse the criticizer of being unfair.

* Summarize your disagreement.  Be specific, and suggest corrective action to resolve the remaining disagreement.

* State your feelings. Once the issues have been dealt with, describe your feelings about the criticism as you received it.  Provide feedback to the giver on how you think he or she might do better.

* Thank the criticizer.  Show appreciation for his or her desire to help you improve, even though you may not feel helped.

* Implement agreed-to corrective actions.

Source: Peace Ideas